The criminal courts and professional tribunals are full of bizarre stories that have been kept hidden from the general public - until now. Many are deemed too trivial or too distasteful to be broadcast or published in newspapers. But who could fail to be shocked by the fairground ride that ended in horror when a gondola was catapulted into an amusement stall? Who would not be disgusted by a nurse who exposed his penis in hospital and asked a colleague to measure it? Now for the first time Courtnewsuk invites you into a secret world that can only be described as 'Surreal'.
WARNING: GRAPHIC DETAILS ARE REPORTED IN SOME OF THE FOLLOWING CASES WHICH ARE INTENDED FOR ADULT CONSUMPTION ONLY
 THE 'JUICY JUGS' CHEMIST
Andrew Lumby turned an ordinary pharmacy in Newport into 'Carry on Chemist'
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 CRACK DEALER WAS NOT 'MR BIG.'
It's certainly not every day you come across a crack-dealing dwarf. Called Pele.
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 THE FACE-ACHE FRAUDSTER
Swindler Anthony Bridger hit upon the bizarre idea of creating new passport identities by simply gurning for the camera. Even more bizarrely, it worked.
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 CHOIRMASTER AND 'MONSTER'
Perversion among the teaching profession always attracts the harsh glare of the media spotlight. But Stephen Douglas-Hogg's classes were quite unique...
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THE BALLERINA AND THE CHARITY WORKER
Few women can have undergone a more unpleasant ordeal than the ballet dancer who fell asleep on a train after partying for 24 hours...
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 THE UNCONTROLABLE URGES OF THE SHOE FETISHIST
Paul Chigbu has terrorised dozens of women across London because he can't keep his hands off their shoes.
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 THE HEAD ON THE BUS
Mohamed Boudjenane was an illegal immigrant, happily claiming dole, ignored by the authorities. He only came to the attention of the wider world when he did something rather odd with his neighbour.....
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 THE FINANCIAL ADVISOR AND THE POP-SOCKS
Foot fetishist Sanjay Vyas could not control himself when a girl exposed her pop-socks on a train.
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 THE DOCTOR AND THE PREGNANT PATIENT
Michael St John molested a pregnant Somalian woman in his surgery - and claimed she encouraged him
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 THE SEXUALLY MOTIVATED DOCTOR
Dr Anis Akhtar was sexually motivated when he told a woman with burnt breasts he would love to rub some gel into them. But astonishingly the GMC allowed him to treat female patients again after just 12 weeks out of the job.
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 I'M GROWING 109 SKUNK WEED PLANTS BECAUSE I HAVE A PAINFUL BOTTOM
Those who frequent the criminal courts have heard defendants make many strange excuses, but Dang Tran's piles plea surely takes some beating. Still, a judge accepted it, so it must be true.
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 THE FONDLING DENTIST
Adrian Heath was a former politician who could not resist his patients when they were in his dentist's chair.
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 HORROR AT THE BOWLING ALLEY
Ferdinand Dela Cruz forgot the golden rule when he went to mend the bowling alley machine - turn it off first.
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 ONE-LEGGED MAN STOLE A LEG - OF PORK
Apendagely challenged Jonathan Waddington went to the butcher's shop in his wheelchair to steal a joint of pork.
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 TOO BENT NOT TO SIGN ON, TOO BIG FOR COURT, TOO ILL FOR JAIL
Fraudster Beverley Douglas did not have to sit in the dock because she was too large. But she managed to get behind the wheel of a bus. While signing on, of course.
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 DRUNKEN SOLICITOR WAS ESCORTED FROM COURT `
Solicitor Esther Cunningham caused uproar when she kissed a barrister after drinking brandy and told an usher to f*** off.
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