JONES: URINATING IN SELF-DEFENCE AT WATERLOO? THAT’S JUST TAKING THE, ER… MICKEY

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31 May 2011
 
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A man accused of relieving himself on a station platform has denied he acted illegally because he was ‘urinating in self-defence’.

Michael Jones, 50, allegedly attacked a police officer who tried to tell him off at Waterloo railway station, south London, on May 3.

Gwawr Thomas, defending, today (Tues) told the City of Westminster Magistrates’ Court that Jones would fight the charges at a trial.

‘He urinated in self-defence because the water supply was poisoned by the mafia,’ she said.

‘He had to get rid of the poison from his body.

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District Judge Nicholas Evans said: ‘But even if you are unlucky enough to have your urine contaminated by the mafia, you have to do it in a lavatory.

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He added: ‘This is not realistically going to be a viable defence.

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‘Mr Jones felt it was necessary to get it out of his body,’ Ms Thomas replied.

Jones, of (Flat 12), Edward Henry House, Cornwall Road, Lambeth, south London, will stand trial before the City of Westminster Magistrates’ Court at 2pm on September 7.

He denies urinating on railway property and assaulting a police officer.

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